Book Review: Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid

March 26, 2019April 30, 2021 Dini @ dinipandareads5 Comments

Goodreads: Maybe in Another Life
Genre: Contemporary Fiction, Romance, New Adult, Chicklit,
Rating: ★★★★☆

At the age of twenty-nine, Hannah Martin still has no idea what she wants to do with her life. She has lived in six different cities and held countless meaningless jobs since graduating college. On the heels of leaving yet another city, Hannah moves back to her hometown of Los Angeles and takes up residence in her best friend Gabby’s guestroom. Shortly after getting back to town, Hannah goes out to a bar one night with Gabby and meets up with her high school boyfriend, Ethan. Just after midnight, Gabby asks Hannah if she’s ready to go. A moment later, Ethan offers to give her a ride later if she wants to stay. Hannah hesitates. What happens if she leaves with Gabby? What happens if she leaves with Ethan?

It’s here that the story splits and we get two concurrent storylines that follow what happens if Hannah chooses to stay or go. As the stories play out, Hannah and the people around her have to deal with huge life-altering events that have big consequences for what happens next. Maybe in Another Life not only questions what’s meant to be in this life and who we’re meant to be with, but it also makes you think about where and what home really is. It’s so easy to think that only the big decisions you make affect the course of your life, when in reality all the decisions you make have an effect — and you can’t simply just wish the bad away, because from the bad eventually comes good.

“I think I have to believe that life will work out the way it needs to. If everything that happens in the world is just a result of chance and there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it, that’s just too chaotic for me to handle. I’d have to go around questioning every decision I’ve ever made, every decision I will ever make. If our fate is determined with every step we take . . . it’s too exhausting. I’d prefer to believe that things happen as they are meant to happen.”

This book had me feeling all the feels. Being only a year older than Hannah, I definitely felt for her. Although I have a steady job and I don’t jump from city to city looking for a place I belong, I too still don’t know where ‘home’ really is and I’m not sure whether the direction my life is heading, is the direction I want it to go. So much of Hannah’s character resonated with me and I constantly found myself rooting for her (and Gabby)! For the most part, I tend to have a slightly cynical view of the world and of life, but there’s a part of me that really also believes that whatever is meant to be will be—if it’s gonna happen it will happen—and Hannah’s belief in that really touched me. Surprisingly, I found very few characters in this book unlikable. Although many of them, even the main ones, don’t experience much growth throughout the story; as it centers on Hannah. They all managed to worm their way into my heart, except for the asshole characters of which there’s ONE BIG ONE. This obviously contributed to making the book a more enjoyable and easier reading experience.

While the story primarily focuses on the relationship between lovers, it also explores friendships and the relationship between parents and their children. I absolutely loved the friendship between Hannah and Gabby. Gabby is the steady, level-headed, politically correct friend to Hannah’s spontaneous all-over-the-place clumsiness. There was so much love and support between them, and even at Hannah’s worse, there was no condescension or judgement on Gabby’s part, which I think is rare to find (not only in real life but in story friendships too). Their type of bond transcends traditional friendship and makes them more like sisters and family; which considering Hannah’s home situation, is honestly not that difficult to do. The relationship between Hannah and her family made me profoundly sad. I honestly didn’t and still don’t understand her parent’s decision to not take her along with them. To say that they’re stuck in their own privileged bubble would be an understatement, even though they didn’t have bad intentions, it’s kind of incredible that they were so obtuse. While it’s clear that the Martin family have love for each other, it’s obvious that Hannah doesn’t feel like her parents and sister really have much of a place in her life, and that’s evidenced by the fact that they weren’t really around for the majority of the big life changing moments in either of the stories.

In a way I kind of feel like loving how both storylines ends is a little bit like cheating — it’s not, I know, but it’s like getting to have your cake and eat it too, because you don’t normally get two very different but both very happy endings in real life. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever read a novel that’s told in this way (except the ‘choose your own adventure’ types and that’s completely different), and I wasn’t expecting to love it but in the end I really did. I honestly love the concept of parallel universes and the playing out of actions on the “other side of the coin”. There’s a quote in this book that had my goosebumps rising and that so perfectly sums up the experience of the book.

“The world is splitting further and further into an infinite number of parallel universes where everything that could happen is happening. It’s entirely possible that every time we make a decision, there is a version of us out there somewhere who made a different choice. An infinite number of versions of ourselves are living out the consequences of every single possibility in our lives. What I’m getting at here is that I know there may be universes out there where I made different choices that led me somewhere else, led me to someone else. […] And my heart breaks for every single version of me that didn’t end up with you.”

Have you read Maybe in Another Life or is it on your TBR?

Book Blogging Thoughts…

March 25, 2019May 1, 2021 Dini @ dinipandareads2 Comments

This year, I’ve been trying to make an active effort in engaging more with the book community. This has definitely meant spending more time on #bookstagram, but I also wanted to start this blog to engage beyond Instagram. I have to admit, with a full time job and dealing with more mental health stress than in previous years, doing all of this has been a lot harder than I anticipated. I’ve been doing okay on the bookstagram front, but I’ve been struggling a lottle with the blog. Even though I’ve only been on the blogging scene for just under one month, and I’ve posted (very) sporadically, the more I think about creating daily content, the more I feel overwhelmed.

Lurking around the blogosphere, particularly WordPress, I realize that most people have been blogging for ages — and by that I mean they’ve been blogging for at least a few months, but most for several years! I see some bloggers posting twice per day, others every day, and I’m actually really amazed. I know there is a lot that I have to catch up on in the book blogging world, but I have zero clue where to start. There are certainly lots of book tag prompts that I see people posting about (i.e. WWW, TTT, Weekly Wrap Up etc.), and they sound like good, fun tags to follow and try, so maybe I will take some of those on and slowly increase my posts that way!

I thought I would also reach out to all the (book) bloggers out there — whether you’re a newbie or a veteran to blogging — how do you organize yourself with creating content/posts for your blog? Do you usually follow tags and where do you find them? Do you prepare all your posts for the week in one go or do you actually make time to sit down every day and post? I think these are the things that are overwhelming me the most right now. Especially finding the time to write with my full-time job and my need to unwind with a book after very long days sitting at the office! Any tips/tricks/pointers on making posts and content that’s engaging? Any advice you have to share would be MUCH appreciated!

By the way, I’d like to say a special thanks to all the bloggers who are already following me–it’s a small following but I didn’t think that there’d even be one person who’d be interested in reading what I have to say. Seriously. So, thank you. I absolutely love all the book spheres I’m part of (Instagram/FB/Blog)! 🥰

Book Review: Hunger by Roxane Gay

March 21, 2019May 1, 2021 Dini @ dinipandareads2 Comments

Goodreads: Hunger
Genre: Non Fiction, Memoir, Feminism
Rating: ★★★★★

At the start of every year, I always say to myself that this is going to be the year you read more Non-Fiction. I think I’ve been saying this for the past three years now and the most I manage to read is still about 1-2 NF books. It’s not that I don’t like NF, I just have a wildly wandering mind, and the writing needs to flow like fiction in order for it to keep my attention. I honestly have nothing against NF and I honestly wish that it wasn’t so difficult for me to focus, but my mind is definitely less keen on “facts and figures” and more on using my imagination. Hunger was my first NF for 2019 and I swear, if all NF could be this immersive, I would likely never stop reading it.

From the bestselling author of Bad Feminist: a searingly honest memoir of food, weight, self-image, and learning how to feed your hunger while taking care of yourself. In her phenomenally popular essays and long-running Tumblr blog, Roxane Gay has written with intimacy and sensitivity about food and body, using her own emotional and psychological struggles as a means of exploring our shared anxieties over pleasure, consumption, appearance, and health. As a woman who describes her own body as “wildly undisciplined,” Roxane understands the tension between desire and denial, between self-comfort and self-care. In Hunger, she explores her own past—including the devastating act of violence that acted as a turning point in her young life—and brings readers along on her journey to understand and ultimately save herself. With the bracing candor, vulnerability, and power that have made her one of the most admired writers of her generation, Roxane explores what it means to learn to take care of yourself: how to feed your hungers for delicious and satisfying food, a smaller and safer body, and a body that can love and be loved—in a time when the bigger you are, the smaller your world

“This is a memoir of (my) body because, more often than not, stories of bodies like mine are ignored or dismissed or derided. They think they know the why of my body. They do not.”

Since I finished reading this, there hasn’t been a day that goes by when it doesn’t pop up in my mind–whether it’s an errant thought about it or something more poignant that Roxane Gay wrote that’s currently being reflected in my life. I don’t know how to put into words how much I loved this book. It felt as if Gay reached into my head and plucked out one thought after another, put all those thoughts on paper and turned it into this incredibly painful but beautifully bold memoir. I don’t know if any review that I write for this book will do it justice, but I will do my best to share my thoughts on it.

Trigger/Content Warning: Sexual Assault, Rape (described on page), Eating Disorders, Abuse (sexual, mental and physical)

In Hunger, Roxane Gay writes and shares a painfully raw memoir of her body. She recounts a sexual assault that happened when she was a child, and how she ultimately turned to food as a way to cope by building this barrier between herself and the world. This has resulted in the “wildly undisciplined” and “unruly” body that she lives in today. With brutal honesty, she shares her experiences with body image and her life as a “super morbidly obese” woman living in a world that values small bodies. She talks about how the bigger you are, the more your body becomes a “commodity” that everyone owns and can freely comment and give opinions on. She is unapologetic about her intimate and turbulent relationship with food and how it has become a comfort and a crutch.

“In yet another commercial, Oprah somberly says, “Inside every overweight woman is a woman she knows she can be.” This is a popular notion, the idea that the fat among us are carrying a thin woman inside. Each time I see this particular commercial, I think, I ate that thin woman and she was delicious but unsatisfying. And then I think about how fucked up it is to promote this idea that our truest selves are thin women hiding in our fat bodies like imposters, usurpers, illegitimates.”

Although I know my own situation is in many ways not comparable to Gay’s, her struggles with body image and hunger (not just for food), is something I relate to so very much. I think that her experience with body image and societal expectations is something that so many women and men can relate to. While ~~I know~~ I’m sure everyone’s experiences varies to different degrees, I think that many of us have felt the pressure and the difficulties of living up to it. What I appreciate the most about this memoir is how raw and honest Gay is about her experiences and thoughts. She really doesn’t censor anything, and while this sometimes makes what she has to say uncomfortable to read/hear, it’s also very much the truth. She doesn’t share anything with an ulterior motive, she’s not trying to squeeze any particular emotion from you and she’s not asking for your sympathy, she’s simply telling her story as it is. But she does make you think about things that you may take for granted every day — the things that you don’t think twice about, but for someone who lives in a bigger body doesn’t stop thinking about.

“To be clear, the fat acceptance movement is important, affirming, and profoundly necessary, but I also believe that part of fat acceptance is accepting that some of us struggle with body image and haven’t reached a place of peace and unconditional self-acceptance.”

If there’s anything to critique is that at a certain point the chapters got a little repetitive. I would read certain sections or chapters and realize that I had just read this, although it was worded slightly differently, in the previous chapter(s). I wondered if that was done intentionally, but I read that she essentially copy/pasted some of her Tumblr posts to formulate this book, so perhaps it was just overlooked in editing. There were also chapters in the latter half of the book that I felt were so full of anger and blame (towards society and others) and I didn’t agree with them, as they seemed a bit hypocritical. I saw them as the author releasing pent up rage and resentment, more than adding anything constructive to her narration. But again, this is her memoir and who am I to judge what she has to say about her life? That said, I didn’t find that these points detracted from my enjoyment of the book, and neither did it take any power away from her story.

I bought the paperback of Hunger while in transit at the airport, but started reading it as an Audiobook that I purchased on a whim (and I’m so glad that I did!). Following along with the audio, listening to Roxane Gay narrate her story, made me feel even more intimately connected with her, compared to if I had just read it. Listening to her speak is really like listening to a friend! Her writing is personable and moving, and she tells her story in such a straightforward, matter-of-fact way that makes it all the more powerful, in my opinion. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever made as many notes for quotes in any other book, as I did with this one. If you look at my copy, I’ve marked sticky notes on perhaps 85% of the pages; it’s honestly like a transcript of my mind!

This is a solid five star read that has undoubtedly worked its way onto my list of all-time-favorite books; I certainly won’t be forgetting it any time soon. Of course, I highly recommend this one (if it isn’t obvious yet)!

Have you read Hunger or another book by Roxane Gay? Do you plan to or is it just not for you? Let me know in the comments below and let’s chat books!

Book Review: Verity by Colleen Hoover

March 19, 2019May 1, 2021 Dini @ dinipandareads8 Comments

Goodreads: Verity
Genre: Thriller/Mystery, Suspense, Romance
Rating: ★★★★ ½ (out of 5)

Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity’s recollection of what really happened the day her daughter died. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents would devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue to love her.

It has been a hot minute since I read anything by Colleen Hoover–I think the last time I read a book by her was in 2016. There wasn’t any particular reason for it, I think I just overloaded on romance novels and decided to read more fantasy. That said, this book got caught on my radar in December 2018 and it was already getting some serious hype on bookstagram. I read the blurb and it definitely caught my interest, but I picked it up when I saw it randomly on Kindle Unlimited (UK). I was in a serious reading slump for all February, but this book took me right out of that!

“What you read will taste so bad at times, you’ll want to spit it out, but you’ll swallow these words and they will become part of you, part of your gut, and you will hurt because of them.”

To say that Verity is a little different from CoHo’s other novels would be a serious understatement. That would a little like comparing puppies and rainbows to axe wielding maniacs–only slightly different 😜 Although I guess you can classify this as a romance, it has a fairly dark plot that CoHo has filled with many twists and turns that leave you gaping at the end. At least, that’s what it did to me. Just when I thought there surely couldn’t be another plot twist, CoHo certainly proved me wrong with the final pages of the novel.

Right from the start, Verity has a very somber and a slow creeping sinister feeling to it. I was certainly put on edge and the discomfort only grew incrementally when Lowen moved into the Crawford’s home. My mind was often leaping to one conclusion after another as the the story progressed. I wasn’t very taken with any of the characters in this novel — I didn’t particularly like Lowen, I couldn’t quite place whether Jeremy was an innocent party or not, and I developed a fiery hatred for Verity almost from the moment her unfinished autobiography is introduced. While this usually deters me from reading a book, I found myself unable and unwilling to put it down until I knew what happened–it was really that good! It was actually quite refreshing to read parts of the story from the ‘villain’s’ perspective, even from as dark and twisted a mind as Verity’s was.

I honestly don’t think I can say anymore about this story without giving key plot points away. I will just say that it definitely had me gripping my bedsheets as I read in bed at night. There were definitely some parts that gave me serious goosebumps and made me want to squeal in fright– I’m thinking about one particular moment involving a patio scene during the day time! Overall, I thought this was a pretty screwed up suspense/thriller, obviously in the very best way! If you like being creeped out, I highly recommend it!

Have you read Verity yet or are you planning to? Did it successfully creep you out or was it just ‘meh’ for you?
Let me know in the comments and let’s chat books!

Book Review: The Child Finder by Rene Denfeld

March 18, 2019May 1, 2021 Dini @ dinipandareadsLeave a comment

Goodreads: The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle #1)
Genre: Thriller, Mystery, Suspense
Rating: ★★★★☆

Three years ago, Madison Culver disappeared when her family was choosing a Christmas tree in Oregon’s Skookum National Forest. She would be eight years old now—if she has survived. Desperate to find their beloved daughter, certain someone took her, the Culvers turn to Naomi, a private investigator with an uncanny talent for locating the lost and missing. Known to the police and a select group of parents as The Child Finder, Naomi is their last hope. Naomi’s methodical search takes her deep into the icy, mysterious forest in the Pacific Northwest, and into her own fragmented past. She understands children like Madison because once upon a time, she was a lost girl too. As Naomi relentlessly pursues and slowly uncovers the truth behind Madison’s disappearance, shards of a dark dream pierce the defenses that have protected her, reminding her of a terrible loss she feels but cannot remember. If she finds Madison, will Naomi ultimately unlock the secrets of her own life?

“This is something I know: no matter how far you have run, no matter how long you have been lost, it is never too late to be found.”

It’s been a few days since I’ve finished this book and for some reason I’m still not really sure what to say about it; but I know I did really enjoy it. This wasn’t a fast paced thriller but more of a slow burn mystery that explores the dark depths of humanity and the effects of abuse on children/adults.

Despite the dark and heavy tones and topic of this novel, Rene Denfeld writes in such a beautifully descriptive way that it oftentimes felt like I was reading a fairytale. The author incorporates the surrounding nature and environment of the Pacific Northwest into her story very well, and I think it really added to the genuine feeling of loneliness, and desperation of the characters, town and situation. There was a certain magical quality to the writing that makes it feel like you’re reading through a dream. I thought this was fitting because the story covers the ways in which a person, specifically a child, can deal with traumatic events that happen. One of the coping mechanisms that’s cited is that they’ll often create a magical (fairytale) world that essentially protects them from the reality of their situation. This novel really dives into the psychology of abuse and delivers a powerful story that’s full of emotion. Through many parts of the book I felt such a profound sadness and teared up at various emotionally touching scenes.

“She said we are all part of a secret club. Someday, she said, we will take over the earth. It will be people like us that save the world, she said: those who have walked the side of sorrow and seen the dawn.”

Rene Denfeld also surprised me with the way she chose to narrate this story. I was expecting to only explore one character’s perspective, but Denfeld introduces a very unique perspective that made the story all the more emotionally gut-punching. I don’t want to give more away by going into it, but I definitely think it made it more hard-hitting and impactful. I really enjoyed Naomi’s character. She’s strong, but at the same time, she is delicate and often has a childlike naivety to her interactions with certain people. It’s a clear example of how trauma and abuse in childhood can impact a person well into adulthood.

“Everyone needs faith: faith that even though the world is full of evil, a suitor will come and kiss us awake; faith that the girl will escape the tower, the big bad wolf will die, and even those poisoned by malevolence can be reborn, as innocent as purity itself.”

That said, while I enjoyed the many perspectives, I also wondered if it was necessary for certain characters because I felt their narratives did not really add anything substantial to the story — if these narratives weren’t included, I honestly don’t think it wouldn’t have made a big impact in the plot. There were times that I also found parts of the writing too abstract and a little too existential for my tastes. This was especially so for sections of Naomi’s narration, when she’s reflecting on her present and past, and I didn’t feel that it added anything of significance to the story. It just left me feeling slightly confused — was I missing something important in not understanding how to read between these lines? I didn’t think so, in the end!

Overall though, I really enjoyed this one. There will be a second book in the Naomi Cottle series coming out in October 2019, and I can’t wait to read it! 😊 I am also excited to read the author’s first book The Enchanted, which I’ve heard is a beautifully written and enchanting (ha) story, although ti does have a lot more magical realism in it.

Have you read anything by Rene Denfeld? Do you plan to?
Let me know in the comments — let’s chat books!

February 2019 Wrap-Up!

March 16, 2019April 30, 2021 Dini @ dinipandareads2 Comments

I know, I’m a little late to the party, but I thought I’d share my February wrap-up anyway. February was a pretty tough month for me and my mental health state was the worst it has been in a while. I know when it’s really bad because not only does it affect my daily life more than usual, but I also struggled to read anything. I was trying out 3-4 different books each week, trying to find a story that would pull me in but towards the end of the month, that rarely happened. Anyway, without further ado, these are the books that I got through last month (with mini-reviews for each)!

In total, I read 4 books: 3 Physical books & 1 Audiobook

*I just realized that the book reviews that I’ve posted on my blog so far cover the books that I’ve read in February! I’ll link the mini-reviews to the full-length reviews, in case any of you are interested to know more.

Matchmaking for Beginners by Maddie Dawson
Goodreads | Audible Audiobook | Book Depository | Kindle (UK)
Genre: Romance, Comedy, Chick Lit, Contemporary
Rating: ★★★★☆

This was my first ever audiobook and I was not disappointed. This was a seriously charming book! The characters are endearingly quirky and the situations they find themselves in are emotional and heartfelt, but not without comedy injected here and there to lighten the mood up a little bit. It’s also endlessly quotable! It was a little corny at times, what with all the feel-good love stuff, but I finished this one feeling happy and comforted, and sometimes there’s honestly nothing more you need from a book 😉 I thought the narrators did a wonderful job in reading the story and capturing all the heartbreak and hilarity in it.

History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera
Goodreads | Book Depository | Kindle (UK)
Genre: Young Adult, LGBTQ+, Contemporary
Rating: ★★★★★

This book had my breaking out in crying jags until the very end! This was such a heartbreaking and touching story that explores friendship, love, heartbreak, loss, and grief between four boys. Silvera has written a book that’s filled with such deep sadness and longing, but with enough humorous and lighthearted moments between the characters that it doesn’t bog you down. What I enjoyed most about it was that it’s relatable AF; everyone has had a first love and a heartbreak that completely shatters you. First love is definitely a fragile thing 💔

Vox by Christina Dalcher
Goodreads | Book Depository | Kindle (UK)
Genre: Science Fiction, Dystopia, Feminist Fiction
Rating: ★★★☆☆ (rounded up)

Honestly, this one was a bit of a let down. When I heard it was similar to The Handmaid’s Tale, I knew I had to read it because that’s one of my all-time favorite novels and I’m always looking to read more science fiction/dystopia! However, while I thought this really had the potential to be great, I felt that the characters were underdeveloped, there was a lot of ‘info dumping’ from the 50% mark onwards, and the final showdown was not only incredibly rushed but unsatisfying too. All the problems were resolved too smoothly and the conflict between the characters were also wiped away so easily. I wanted more, but this didn’t deliver for me. I’d recommend it for those who are curious about sci-fi. IMHO, this is more commercial than it is serious science fiction.

My Sister the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite
Goodreads | Book Depository | Kindle (UK)
Genre: Romance, Comedy, Contemporary
Rating: ★★★☆☆

I was a little bit torn with this read. It was a little hyped on bookstagram so I was really excited to dive in — I mean, if we’re just looking at covers and book titles, this one is a tick on both fronts! While the concept of the story was intriguing and Braithwaite did an amazing job exploring a very messed up relationship between sisters, the characters were so incredibly unlikeable (imo) that it made it difficult for me to really enjoy this book… I was surprised with the ending because Braithwaite chose the seemingly predictable conclusion that I wasn’t hoping for, but there was a question left hanging in the last sentence, which I guess left part of the conclusion open to interpretation? Best things about this one was the realness of the sisterly relationship/bond and the satire.

Ongoing February Reads…

I also started reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt in February and it’s such a tome of a book, that I haven’t finished it yet… I’m not disliking the character driven plot, but the reason I’m still reading it as I write this is because once I put it down, I don’t feel particularly compelled to pick it up again. I don’t know what it is — Is it the size? Is it my mood? I’m not sure. This is my first Tartt book and while I was warned that it moves at a fairly slow pace, I wasn’t expecting it to be this slow… But since February was such a tough one for me, I’m hoping with my fresh-kick in March, I’ll be able to finish it by the end of the month! 🤞🏽

Another book I started at the end of the month was Beartown by Fredrik Backman. This one is so well-loved and incredibly hyped on bookstagram, so I was ready for it to hit me with all the feels at the start. But while I found it interesting and I was curious to find out what happened, I also ended up putting it down at some point and not picking it back up again. I’m definitely blaming my fickle February mood for not continuing with it right now and it’s another read that I hope to finish in March — I am not giving up on it! 🤓

Hope you’re having a lovely weekend!
How are your March reads coming along? Let’s talk books 🙂

ARC Review: Wolfhunter River by Rachel Caine

March 13, 2019May 1, 2021 Dini @ dinipandareadsLeave a comment

Goodreads: Wolfhunter River (Stillhouse Lake #3)
Publish date: 23 April 2019
Genre: Thriller, Mystery
Rating: ★★★★☆

Thanks to Netgalley and Thomas & Mercer for providing me a free e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

What would you do if you found out that your husband and the father of your children was a serial killer who tortured and brutally murdered countless women under the same roof you lived in? Would it be impossible to believe that you had absolutely no clue that all of this was taking place? What if you were implicated as a partner to his crimes? How far would you go to keep your life together and your children safe from the thousands of people who don’t believe in your innocence? That is the reality Gwen Proctor and her two kids have to live with. After escaping his clutches and saving her family, Gwen tries to create a life of normality for her children’s sake. However, try as she might, she is unable to escape the sick internet “vigilantes” that want nothing more than to see revenge for her ex’s crimes. Then one day, she receives a call from a frightened woman asking for help, which leads Gwen and her family to a remote forest town near Wolfhunter River, that turns out to be rotten to its core. As enemies come crawling out of the darkness from all sides, the fight for their safety and their lives begins once more.

This is the third book in the Stillhouse Lake series by Rachel Caine. Just as with the first two books, I simply could not put this down and stayed up late to finish it in the wee hours of the morning. Was the creep factor high? Definitely. But not so high that I couldn’t fall asleep after reading it.

This fast paced read delivers endless high intensity scenes one after another. Caine does an awfully good job at highlighting the depravity of human beings and often times it’s a little distressing to read about the extent of cruelty we so easily inflict upon one another–especially when we believe we are acting with justice. The author goes to prove the dangers of the “pack mentality” and how easy it is for strangers, and even those who were your friends, to turn with the tide against you. In protesting against someone’s innocence, others can come to think and act just as cruelly as the murderers themselves—“an eye for an eye”, and all that.

While reading I couldn’t help but shout in anger and grind my teeth in frustration at the situations Gwen and her family are placed in. My heart ached as they continually tried to find peace in a world that wishes them nothing but ill, and even death. One of my favorite things about this series is the strength of Gwen’s character. She’s smart, fierce, and although incredibly paranoid, she proves time and again just how far she’ll go to protect her family and the people she loves. She’s truly a badass that rises up time and again, when it would be simple to take the easy way out. Her children are also strong resilient characters as a result of having to deal with a life that has been so cruel to them.

The plot of Wolfhunter River was less straightforward than the first two books, with various storylines being introduced and the connection between them only revealed in the last 20% of the book. I actually felt that it was just a little bit too much to be plausible, but it didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the story. You definitely have to pay more attention to keep it all straight though! It was gratifying to have some of my theories be correct—and I had many theories as I read! Rachel Caine does a great job intertwining the various storylines into jaw-dropping reveals and delivering a satisfying final showdown.

I highly recommend this if you’re looking for a good, quick, and thrilling read! Although I definitely think reading the first two books would be better than jumping straight into this one, you can still following along, as the author incorporates the backstory quite well; but you’d be missing out on a lot, and where’s the fun in that?

Have you read any books in the Stillhouse Lake series?

Book Review: My Sister, The Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite

February 27, 2019May 2, 2022 Dini @ dinipandareads1 Comment

Goodreads: My Sister, The Serial Killer
Genre: Crime-Thriller-Mystery, Africa, Contemporary Fiction
Rating: ★★★½ (out of 5)

One evening, Korede gets a call from her younger sister Ayoola asking for her help. It’s a call she hoped she’d never receive again but, you know, life. Ayoola has killed another man and so Korede takes her cleaning supplies and goes to help her sister cover up a crime she claims was an act of self-defense. Does Korede believe her sister—even after three men have now died by Ayoola’s hand—or does she do something about it? Korede loves Ayoola, but she also wonders how her sister ended up this way–does she have more of their abusive father’s blood running through her veins, compared to Korede? Although she is fraught with worry about being found out, Korede is convinced the police don’t need to be involved; that is, until the day Ayoola attracts the attention of the man Korede loves and she finds herself torn between obligation to her sister, and a moral duty to not only protect the man she loves, but all the menfolk of Nigeria.

“Have you heard this one before? Two girls walk into a room. The room is in a flat. The flat is on the third floor. In the room is the dead body of an adult male. How do they get the body to the ground floor without being seen?”

I want to start by saying that I love the title and cover of this book. Not only is the cover eye-catching, but the title definitely piqued my interest and these elements alone were enough to convince me to read it! I had also seen it a few times on bookstagram this year, so there was additional interest generated from positive reviews, and I was definitely ready to pick it up.

Oyinkan Braithwaite writes a compelling novel that explores the complicated relationship between sisters, the moral dilemmas that come from being complicit in a crime and male impropriety that spans across cultures. The big question she was posed though was: Just how far would you go to protect the one(s) you love?

This was a fast and easy read filled with lots of dark humor, which left me laughing out loud just as often as I’d mumble with disappointment at Korede’s enabling and be appalled at Ayoola’s remorseless and sociopathic tendencies. I found the novel’s exploration of male impropriety rather amusing, actually. All the men in the book had little to no character outside from being caught in Ayoola’s orbit. She was the ‘centre of everyone’s universe’ and it didn’t matter that she was fickle, narcissistic, a cheater, and cared for little other than herself, men loved and wanted her because she was beautiful. Ayoola had it right, “all they want is a pretty face”, but this pretty face knew that and used it to her advantage, and clearly, to their detriment. Although, to be fair, even the women were enraptured by Ayoola’s beauty, so maybe the issue is more about society’s acceptance of beauty on the outside, excusing the ugly on the inside? Because in this book that outer beauty literally lets you get away with murder.

The most enjoyable part of the book for me was in the realness of sibling relationships, particularly between sisters. No matter how much you care for your sibling and no matter how well you get along, there are always feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and bitterness, but also of love and the overpowering need to protect and defend. Korede’s struggle to reconcile her morals with being a big sister whose instinct is to protect her little sister, captured the complexity of these relationships very well. As much as she felt bitterness and jealousy towards Ayoola for her beauty and for having a relationship with the man she loved, Korede never seriously thought of exposing her sister to the public, no matter how desperate she was to do so. That said, their relationship was very messed up and there was a lot of underlying resentment and obvious manipulation between the two.

What I struggled with the were the characters because I didn’t particularly like any of them. I wonder if that was done purposefully because they all had highly unfavorable character traits that made it difficult to find any redeeming qualities in them. Most of the times I wanted to slap them really hard in the faces and shake them “awake”.

Ayoola, as princess of the family, has gotten away with everything her whole life because of her looks. She’s conceited, narcissistic, and selfish (also, a serial killer) and takes everything for granted. It was astounding that even in the face of getting caught, she so vehemently denied any wrongdoing by spinning absurds tale that everyone seemed to believe because of her extraordinary beauty. Korede’s character was even worse because of how she enabled Ayoola by falling into the same ‘trap’ she criticized everyone else for. Despite knowing the manipulative nature of her sister, she still allowed herself to be taken advantage of and constantly stepped on. Although at times I felt sorry for her because of that, Korede had such a cold and impersonal, ‘holier than thou’ attitude towards everyone—boxing herself off from those who could have potentially been her allies—that it rubbed me the wrong way and made it difficult to feel sympathy for her character. The men, especially dreamy Dr. Tade, were thoughtless and shallow. Apparently, all men really care about are your looks and you can cheat, act crazy, be cold and heartless until it suits you to be warm, as much as you want as long as you’re beautiful. Even a brilliant, charming doctor is not exempt.

“We are hard wired to protect and remain loyal to the people we love. Besides, no one is innocent in this world. …’The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder.’”

I honestly thought that Korede would take a different route, especially after the (unsurprising) climax, so that was a bit of a letdown. But despite the unlikeable characters, I still enjoyed this read—which is rare for me to say because characters are everything! I do still feel like certain elements could have been explored better to give the book some more meat. Overall though, I thought this was a great debut by Braithwaite, that presents a daring, funny, but dark family drama that explored larger elements which other readers can perhaps relate to.

Have you read My Sister, the Serial Killer or is it on your TBR?

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Book Review: History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

February 25, 2019May 1, 2021 Dini @ dinipandareads4 Comments

Goodreads: History Is All You Left Me
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, LGBTQ+
Rating: ★★★★

Griffin has lost his best friend, ex-boyfriend, first love, and first everything, to a tragic drowning accident. Now not only does he have to cope with a giant Theo shaped hole in his life, he also has to deal with his worsening OCD, and probably worst of all, Jackson—Theo’s new boyfriend from California. The story shifts as Griffin recounts the “History” of his friendship/relationship with Theo and Wade, to “Today”, as he processes living a life without Theo, and deals with a growing, albeit reluctant, bond with Jackson. Griffin must learn to forgive and accept the past, in order to move on and embrace his present and future.

Firstly, let me say: I love a good book that can make me cry, and Adam Silvera had me bursting out in crying jags throughout this whole novel. This was a heartbreaking and touching story that explores friendship, love, loss, and grief between four boys. The writing is infused with such deep sadness and longing that it’s almost tangible, but there are enough humorous and lighthearted moments between the characters that it doesn’t bog you down.

“I’m sorry, but please don’t be mad at me for reliving all of it. History is all you left me.”

I think what made this book so enjoyable was how real the characters and situations were. Everyone has had a first love and a heartbreak that completely shatters you. It’s not easy being friends with an ex, and it’s even harder to see them moving on with someone new, especially when you’re not there yet. This book shows how fragile first love often is and illustrates how painful it can be to realize and accept that, especially as the person going through the breakup. Reading about Griffin’s struggle to be happy for Theo moving on with Jackson was so painful because it was relatable. I mean, ouch, I could definitely feel the residual sting in my heart over my own first love, and that happened years ago! I think it also shows how certain people will never leave your heart, even if they’re no longer in your life.

“Even if I only got to spend that first drive to the planetarium with Theo, he broke me in a way everyone should be lucky to be cracked open at least once. I had the privilege of being destroyed by him until we found a better, real me inside of the person I was pretending to be.”

As much as this was a love story, it was also about dealing with loss and coping with grief, and how for better or worse, everybody reacts differently to these moments in life. Silvera does a beautiful job illustrating how raw it can be to go through the stages of grief, especially for four young boys who’ve lost someone that played such a central and anchoring role in their lives. I really appreciated how these characters, and their emotions, and interactions were depicted so genuinely.

”There’s nothing wrong with someone saving my life, I’ve realized, especially when I can’t trust myself to get the job done right. People need people. That’s that.”

This was such a beautiful and touching read. While there was a lot of sadness and pain in the writing, the story ended on an uplifting and hopeful note, leaving you to believe that everything that’s going to work out, will work out right in the end. This is the second Adam Silvera book that I’ve read and with it, I think he has solidified his position on my list of authors that can make me feel all the feels, and cry a good cry.

Have you read History Is All You Left Me?
If you haven’t, is it already in your TBR or will you add it in?

A Bookish Journey…

February 24, 2019January 22, 2023 Dini @ dinipandareads4 Comments

Hi friends, thanks for stopping by! My name is Dini and I’m an avid book reader and ultimate book lover. By starting this blog, I want to challenge myself to become a better reader; to be more critical and more aware of what I read, and to better understand what makes a good read (for me). I also hope to connect with other like-minded book lovers and share recommendations with each other. I might not be the most eloquent reviewer, and I might not write the best or most insightful reviews, but I hope to build that up with practice over time.

I’m not a book snob… While I have favorite genres, such as romance, fantasy, historical fiction, and true crime, I’m open to pretty much all genres. The only genre that I don’t read much of is horror (especially paranormal) because I am The Ultimate Chicken™️ that can’t handle it. Although I do love Stephen King, I tend to stay away from his scarier novels (such as IT; sorry, not sorry). Every year I also challenge myself to read more non-fiction–while I don’t dislike NF, it’s difficult for me to keep my attention focused, and I get very easily distracted.

The genres that I like include: YA fantasy/fiction, historical fiction, fantasy/sci-fi, mysteries/thrillers, true crime, romance, new adult, poetry/prose, classics, very rarely horror and occasionally non-fiction.

Don’t be a stranger! Hit that like and subscribe button if you like what you’re seeing. Leave me a comment if you’d like to chat, or if you want to tell me that you dislike or disagree with something that I’ve written. 😂 I’m open to engaging in discussions where we agree and disagree because that’s what life is about!