Well, June wasn’t any different to what I expected. It was the last month of full-time work for everyone at my office and wow, it was hectic, stressful, frustrating and emotional in so many different ways. It hasn’t been an easy process and if I’m being honest, there were so many instances the team felt deep betrayal and disbelief due to decisions being made by the higher-ups in New York, but would be the most impactful to the local team on the ground here. By the time the 30th rolled around, the energy was almost manic because everyone was beyond exhausted but at the same time, relieved to not have to deal with the heavy burden of this change full-time anymore.

Personally, I was feeling pretty numb to it all and even now, I don’t think it’s fully set in? There were a few panicky moments towards the end of June when I started thinking too long and hard about what I’m going to do next, whether I’m ever going to be able to get a job again, how I’m going to survive in this economy, etc. I know it’s a serious situation but I also know my brain was making things more dramatic and worse in those moments. As of right now, I’m feeling quite a bit of guilt because I’m not working, and I’m also struggling to not feel like I have to constantly be online and available for work because I’m no longer being paid to work full-time. It’s a weird transitory feeling and I’m sure it’ll take a while for me to get used to it, but I know I will adjust. 🙂