Tag: Book Review

Book Review: The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker

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Goodreads: The Dreamers
Genre: Fiction, Science Fiction
Rating: ★★★★☆

One night in an isolated college town in the hills of Southern California, a first-year student stumbles into her dorm room, falls asleep–and doesn’t wake up. She sleeps through the morning, into the evening. Her roommate, Mei, cannot rouse her. Neither can the paramedics who carry the girl away, nor the perplexed doctors at the hospital. Then a second girl falls asleep, and then a third, and panic takes hold of the college and spreads to the town. As the number of cases multiplies, classes are canceled. A quarantine is established. Mei, an outsider in the hierarchy of dorm life, finds herself thrown together with an eccentric, idealistic classmate. A psychiatrist summoned from Los Angeles attempts to make sense of the phenomenon as it spreads. Those infected, she discovers, are displaying unusual levels of brain activity, higher than has ever been recorded before. They are dreaming heightened dreams–but of what?

I’ve been itching to read The Dreamers ever since I saw the book (cover) on IG earlier this year, and then I read the blurb and honestly, how could I resist?! I can’t really pinpoint why I love this cover so much; maybe it’s the combination of text and bright colors over a dark background? Whatever it is, it works for me. So, to say that I was excited to finally find this book a few weeks ago is probably an understatement. At the same time though, The Dreamers has been so incredibly hyped on IG that I also felt a little hesitant about reading it because there’s always a chance (however slim) that I will find the book disappointing. But when Brenda over at The Traveling Sisters told me they were doing a group read, I didn’t hesitate to join in, and I’m so glad I did because this book definitely needed talking about afterwards!

The first night I fell asleep after finishing this, I had the strangest dreams courtesy of the book’s ending. Clearly, the story had gotten into my head, but truth be told, I wasn’t really sure how I felt about it. This was unlike any science fiction that I’ve ever read. When I think of sci-fi, I generally think Michael Crichton–which is great storytelling, but also very heavy on facts, terms that I can’t pronounce and other physic/chemistry related details that oftentimes leave my head spinning. The Dreamers was basically the opposite of that. It’s written in a slow, slightly melancholic and detached way, with alluring dreamlike quality prose. It’s entirely fitting for the title and what the book is about, but it also means that the pace moves at a fairly sleepy pace. Honestly, if the story was any less interesting, I probably would’ve fallen asleep multiple times or really dreaded getting through it. As this is my first KTW book, I didn’t know what her writing would be like, but this was the first “oh” moment when I realized that the book would be quite different to what I expected. It took me quite a while to really get into the story, but after a certain point when the epidemic started getting more intense, I was unable to put it down. While this dreamy-sleepy-storytelling is not normally my style, I found KTW’s prose compelling and too beautiful to leave unfinished.

The story was not so much about the what, how and why of the virus, but about the characters, their reactions, and the impact of the ensuing events on their lives. Told through multiple perspectives, there wasn’t much character development and as a result, you don’t become very invested in any of them; but it was interesting to experience the epidemic through the various viewpoints. KTW highlights the human capacity to endure, and how high-intensity crisis situations can bring people together or pull them apart. I thought this was a pretty unique angle to take in approaching a sci-fi. During the discussion someone asked how we’d react in such a situation and I realized I would probably end up being that anxious, hot mess that everyone wishes would fall asleep–I’d be all panic and absolutely no disco 😂

As we follow the story, we learn that the sleepers experience unprecedented levels of brain activity, higher even than a person experiences in an awake state, but how is this possible and what does it mean? While the question is never really answered, the exploration of memories, dreams, and time, while sometimes abstract and philosophical, was thought-provoking. I enjoyed mulling over why certain people experienced events very differently and trying to decipher what was real and what wasn’t.

In the end though, there were many questions left unanswered and I think that was my biggest frustration with the book. It felt incomplete, like there was no resolution to the story, even knowing that answering the why and how wasn’t necessarily the point. I’m still curious about the message KTW was trying to send or make us understand with this book. With a few days to process the story, I realize I enjoyed The Dreamers a lot more than I initially thought, and I think it’s a story I will continue to think about long after I’ve finished the last page.

Have you read The Dreamers yet or is it on your TBR? I’m curious to know your thoughts! Leave a comment down below and let’s chat 🙂

#WWWWednesday: 10 April 2019

Dini @ dinipandareads3 Comments

It’s time for another WWW Wednesday! This is a meme hosted by Taking On A World of Words. I can’t believe how quickly the week is going. Hope everyone is having a great week so far?

The three questions are:
1. What did you read last?
2. What are you currently reading?
3. What will you read next?

What did you read last?

I finished a few books this past week: Midnight Radio (Graphic Novel ARC), Nocturnal (ARC Poetry), The Stillwater Girls (read my review here), and The Dreamers. I read The Dreamers with some lovely ladies in the Traveling Friends Instagram Reading Group organized by The Traveling Sisters. I’m glad that I read this with others because I definitely wanted to discuss my thoughts on it. Plus, these ladies were so friendly and fun to talk to, I’m so happy that I joined! I’ll be posting my review tomorrow, so stay tuned 😉

What are you currently reading?

There are a couple of ARCs that I’m trying to get through this month but I also want to balance these out with other reads. Just yesterday, I picked up these books: Don’t Even Breathe (ARC, coming out 18 April), The Hunting Party, and Pride. I started Don’t Even Breathe yesterday and it basically had my head turning in the second chapter! I’m only 40% through, but it’s fairly fast paced, so I hope it continues to deliver!

What will you read next?

I’m planning to start a bestie buddy read for The Dry by Jane Harper. I’m really excited to read this as I’ve heard lots of good things about it, but thankfully it’s not as hyped as her more recent book, The Lost Man (*phew*). I’d also like to start on The Silent Patient, but I think I’m going to have to break up this slew of thrillers with a lighthearted YA, The Goodbye Summer by Sara van Name, another ARC coming out 01 May 2019!

Wooh, if I actually end up reading all of these books, my April just might end up being almost as good as March!

So, what are your three W’s? Have you posted a WWW Wednesday? Leave your link in the comments below and let’s chat books 🙂

ARC Review: The Stillwater Girls by Minka Kent

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Goodreads: The Stillwater Girls
Publish Date: 09 April 2019
Genre: Thriller, Mystery
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Ignorant of civilization and cautioned against its evils, nineteen-year-old Wren and her two sisters, Sage and Evie, were raised in off-the-grid isolation in a primitive cabin in upstate New York. When the youngest grows gravely ill, their mother leaves with the child to get help from a nearby town. And they never return.

As months pass, hope vanishes. Supplies are low. Livestock are dying. A brutal winter is bearing down. Then comes the stranger. He claims to be looking for the girls’ mother, and he’s not leaving without them. To escape, Wren and her sister must break the rule they’ve grown up with: never go beyond the forest. Past the thicket of dread, they come upon a house on the other side of the pines. This is where Wren and Sage must confront something more chilling than the unknowable. They’ll discover what’s been hidden from them, what they’re running from, and the secrets that have left them in the dark their entire lives.

I actually hadn’t heard of Minka Kent before I picked up this book, but the Stillwater Girls had an interesting premise (that sounded similar to another book (The Water Cure) that I’ve been wanting to read but haven’t picked up yet), so I was very excited when I got approved to read the ARC!

The pace of the writing was great, the pace was fast and I enjoyed reading from the multiple perspectives of Wren (and Sage) and (mostly) Nicolette. Minka Kent’s characters were interesting and complex. What I really liked was how the experiences shaped the intense emotions that the characters and that feeling was palpable as I read. Nicolette’s worries and desperation for something she couldn’t have were so strong that I felt myself becoming anxious, and although that anxiety was terrible, I knew that it wasn’t coming from me but from her character and the story. I admire an author’s ability to evoke such an intense reaction from their readers.

The pages were filled with mystery and intrigue and I was hooked after reading the first two perspectives, wondering how on earth these seemingly very different storylines would come together. I was properly invested in the story up until the lead up to big reveal, which in all honesty left me shouting out: “Um, What?!” It was shocking but also left me feeling a little stumped because it was just a little unbelievable. That is not to say that the story was not at times predictable, from the moment that things started unraveling for the sisters, my hunch about what happened to them was absolutely correct. However, that reveal kind of left me feeling like I had just reached the top of what I thought was a very steep roller coaster ride, only to find out that it was just a wee drop in the end. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for happy endings, but after the twist, everything “fell apart” and came together way too quickly and so perfectly, that it seemed implausible; and not only the reveal itself but the reasoning behind it. I have to say though that I’ve never read a book with a character who has experienced what Nicolette has/does, so while intriguing, I don’t know if it was really handled well. I honestly don’t think I can say more without spoilers so I will leave it there. That said, I can commend Kent for the fact that I really didn’t see that kind of twist coming, but I think I was more disappointed with the whole unraveling of the story following the reveal. If life could really be so clean and happy after something like this has happened, then I’m definitely not living that life!

Overall though, I did enjoy Minka Kent’s writing style. I liked how her writing grabbed my attention from the start and kept me sucked in all the way until the almost end with the fast pace and the intense mystery/suspense. Unfortunately though, the reveal and ending really didn’t do it for me, and while it wasn’t my worst read this year, I don’t think I’d buy it for friends or family.

Thanks to Netgalley, Minka Kent and publisher Thomas & Mercer for providing me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Book Review: A Curse So Dark And Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

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Goodreads: A Curse So Dark And Lonely
Genre: Young Adult Fantasy, Retelling
Rating: ★★★★☆

Fall in love, break the curse. 
It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper Lacy. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she’s instead somehow sucked into Rhen’s cursed world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom. 
A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn’t know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what’s at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

First of all, if I had realized this was the first book in a series and we wouldn’t be getting the second book until 2020, I would not have jumped into it as quickly as I did. But once I started, I honestly could not stop. Despite being scared half-to-death of the Beast and his roar when I watched this movie as a kid, Beauty and the Beast quickly became one of my all time favorite fairy tales. That library scene was one of the most magical things I’ve ever seen and seriously, goals much? I don’t know how I even thought this would be a standalone because as much as I wish that we had the full story now, I also think that I want this series to last. Forever.

“I am always surprised to discover that when the world seems darkest, there exists the greatest opportunity for light.” 

This was a dark and magical retelling. I was hooked from the first few pages and I couldn’t wait to get back to it when I was basically forced to put it down so I could fulfill my social obligations. I’ve never read anything by Brigid Kemmerer before so I don’t know if all her books are like this, but I thought the writing flowed nicely and successfully gave the story an eerie fairytale feel. I thought the world building was done well. There was a thick eerie-ness to the setting. This was especially for the castle scenes where everything regenerates day after day. It was hauntingly creepy but beautiful and so easy to picture!

I loved all the characters, and thought they had intriguing backstories that gave them more depth. Harper was fantastic; she’s independent, sassy/sarcastic, fierce, and doesn’t let the fact that she has Cerebral Palsy stop her from fighting for herself and the kingdom. She isn’t defined by her limitations, rather she’s empowered because of them. When we’re first introduced to her she’s described as ‘scrappy and walking with a limp’, far from the beautiful, shy Belle that we know, but I think that’s what made it more refreshing. Basically, Harper is relatable and I really liked that! I liked Rhen and Grey as well, but I didn’t find their arcs especially interesting or special. Rhen’s storyline was fairly typical of a remorseful prince and Grey was the stoic and handsome guardsman with a heart of gold. Honestly though, I was more taken with Grey’s character, and even though we learn a bit about him, I kept wanting more of his backstory. When it came to the romance, I wasn’t very convinced with the chemistry between Harper and Rhen, and I know I’m in the minority with that opinion. They had a connection but I thought it was lacking and felt a little forced. I thought Harper was developing a stronger and more genuine bond with Grey, and if there were teams, I’d definitely be Team Grey (don’t hate).

**SMOL SPOILER**

I’m feeling an impending love triangle and if there’s one trope I really dislike, it’s the love triangle. Like, why? I mean, I get that there was some kind of “love triangle” thing going on in the original Beauty & the Beast, but let’s be real, none of us thought Gaston really had any shot with Belle. I know I’m just assuming there’ll be one in the next book, I could be very wrong and I kinda hope I am.

**END SPOILER**

At the end, I still have a lot of questions that went unanswered though, mostly relating to the curse. Lillith was an intriguing villain, and I wish we got more of her backstory and learned more about her motives because it was still a little vague to me. Was it truly just an act of a spurned lover? We learn about the long history of magic in the kingdom, how Rhen was an awfully cruel and entitled prince, and we get glimpses into how the curse affected him and the kingdom, but I couldn’t help feeling that there was more to it than what we were shown, especially with how the book ended.

Speaking of the ending… I was gutted by it! THAT TWIST is everything that we love and hate in a book, especially when we have to live a year with this cliffhanger! So cruel. I’m dying to know what happens next–I think there’s going to be more political intrigue, deceptions, romance and action in general–and I hope that we get some answers to the questions that were raised in this book.

Have you read A Curse So Dark And Lonely? What did you think of it? Let me know in the comments below and let’s talk books!

ARC Review: Suddenly Single by Carol Wyer

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Goodreads: Suddenly Single
Publish Date: 08 April 2019
Genre: Romance, Chick Lit
Rating: ★★★☆☆

After years of marriage, Chloe Piper, the bestselling author of erotic romance novel “Spank Me Harder, Vicar”, finds herself suddenly single when her husband William admits to having multiple affairs. In an attempt to start fresh, Chloe has decided to move away from her little village life, and into a beautiful countryside home with her best companion Ronnie (her dog). It’s in this new home where Chloe must 1) move on from her marriage and from William; 2) Attempt to write another novel, under the pseudonym CJ Knight, without having access to the same inspiration she had when writing the first; and 3) She must face the crippling social anxiety that has prevented her from doing so much, especially in the last few years of her marriage. With the help of her eccentric neighbours and charming contractor, Alex, can Chloe step out of her comfort zone and show the world just who she really is?

Suddenly Single was not what I expected. This was a feel-good novel about dealing with mental health, finding the strength to overcome your fears, finding acceptance of yourself, and discovering the great things that can lead you to, if you let yourself be open to it.

I decided to pick this up because the cover really attracted me — the color, the design, the text all stood out! When I started to read it, I immediately fell in love with the setting of this book. It didn’t hurt that Chloe’s house also sounded like my dream home, especially with the large bay view windows, and the killer view of beautiful fields and being so close to the wonderful peak district. Absolute heaven! I liked that this took place in a small village in the UK, although with the characters and writing being so large, it’s easy to forget. I thought the writing flowed well and it was a fairly easy read (I see it as a good beach read, even if it’s set in the winter)! That said, while it’s a fairly short book, it took me a few days to read because even though I enjoyed it, I didn’t necessarily feel compelled to pick it up again after taking several breaks.

My favorite part of this story were the characters — they were so quirky/kooky/weird but also endearing with their individual personalities and by just being themselves. They never failed to put a smile on my face and to entertain me with their silly antics. Also, who couldn’t love her mutt, Ronnie? Dogs in books are always the best companions and Ronnie was no exception. The mischievous and lovable doggo had me laughing out loud often throughout the story. The only character I absolutely detested was William. I couldn’t stand his arrogance, or controlling and abuse behaviour and I’m so glad that he got what he deserved 🙂

I thought Chloe was a great MC. I think the author did a good job of putting us in her shoes and illustrating what severe social anxiety looks like and can feel like. As someone who also suffers from mild social anxiety, I absolutely felt a kinship to Chloe’s character, and it was nice to see how people were so quick to understand and accept her, which really contributed to her finding the confidence to stand up for herself and to step out of her comfort zone. Her character growth throughout the novel was very inspiring; granted, it may not always be so easy in real life, but it was nice to see the positive changes. Sometimes you just have to do it and most of the time it will end up better than you expected in the first place! For Chloe, pushing her own boundaries led her to come out on top with a bunch of great new friends, and a confidence in herself that she never had before.

Although this was supposed to be a romance, I found the connection between Chloe and Alex really unconvincing. I just really didn’t get a sense of big (or small) sparks between them! They were sweet, and had cute yet adorably awkward interactions, but I think I was more convinced of a spark between Chloe and Sean, even though they were just good friends. Still, I actually didn’t mind that the romance took a back seat because I loved how this book really focused on how Chloe deals with her mental health and social anxiety disorder. Honestly, I was a little worried when William made a reappearance that she would just fall back into his arms, but I was pleasantly surprised when she stood up for herself, and didn’t let him emotionally and mentally abuse her as he did during their marriage.

In the end it all came together very nicely, although maybe maybe a little too nicely, and a little too easily? But overall, a fun and uplifting summer read that made me miss living in the UK a lot, a lot.

Thanks to Netgalley, the author and publishers for providing me this ARC in exchange for an honest review. Don’t forget to get your copy when this comes out on 08 April 2019!

March 2019 Monthly Wrap-Up!

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It’s that time of the month again! Can you believe we’ve come to the end of yet another month? Three months of 2019 are officially over. Where does the time go?!

If you’ve read my (belatedly posted) February wrap up, you’ll know that it was a pretty mediocre reading month for me. I was hitting struggletown hard! I don’t think I’ve ever had a month-long reading slump before, but I guess there’s a first time for everything? 🤷🏻‍♀️ In comparison, March was a pretty great book month!

Reading Recap: 15 Books

✓ 13 Fiction (2 ARCs)
✓ 1 Non-Fiction
✓ 1 Comic/Graphic Novel
✓ Goodreads Reading Challenge: 45/75 books
✓ Favorite Read: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (this book was so crazily hyped, especially on #bookstagram, so it took me a while to pick it up coz I was a little apprehensive; but I have to say that it’s definitely worth all the hype. If I could give it all the stars, I absolutely would!)

  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★★
  • ★★★★★
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★☆☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★☆
  • ★★★★★

Of these 15, four were paperbacks and the rest were e-books and an online comic strip. The two ARCs were Wolfhunter River by Rachel Caine (23 April 2019) and Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center (13 August 2019) and I enjoyed both immensely! Can’t wait for these to be released so everyone can read them. I read a lot on my Kindle this month. It’s been a while since I’ve gone on an e-book spree, so it felt really good to get into it, especially after the epic slump. I’m super pleased with the new 10th Generation Kindle Paperwhite (2018), which I got in early March when my Kindle Paperwhite of 5 years died an unfortunate and untimely death (RIP 😭). I love that I can pair this one with bluetooth headphones and listen to Audible books directly from there, although the first/last time I tried it, the connection was pretty wonky and the audio kept cutting out and “stuttering”. Also, it drains the battery super fast.

Overall, I’m really pleased with all the books I read. It was definitely a month for Contemporary Fiction and Romance, sprinkled with hint if Fantasy and Thrillers. I was also quite pleased with all the books that I got in March, and I’m wondering if I should do a wrap up haul post for them. I kinda went a little bit wild (heh, what’s new), but I think I’m going to take a break from buying physical books for now. Let’s see how long that lasts! 😂 Leaving March behind, I’m definitely excited to see how I’ll fare in April as work gets a little bit busier.

How did your March reads go? Are you pleased with the books you read? Which was your favorite? Let me know in the comments and let’s chat!

Book Review: Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid

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Goodreads: Maybe in Another Life
Genre: Contemporary Fiction, Romance, New Adult, Chicklit,
Rating: ★★★★☆

At the age of twenty-nine, Hannah Martin still has no idea what she wants to do with her life. She has lived in six different cities and held countless meaningless jobs since graduating college. On the heels of leaving yet another city, Hannah moves back to her hometown of Los Angeles and takes up residence in her best friend Gabby’s guestroom. Shortly after getting back to town, Hannah goes out to a bar one night with Gabby and meets up with her high school boyfriend, Ethan. Just after midnight, Gabby asks Hannah if she’s ready to go. A moment later, Ethan offers to give her a ride later if she wants to stay. Hannah hesitates. What happens if she leaves with Gabby? What happens if she leaves with Ethan?

It’s here that the story splits and we get two concurrent storylines that follow what happens if Hannah chooses to stay or go. As the stories play out, Hannah and the people around her have to deal with huge life-altering events that have big consequences for what happens next. Maybe in Another Life not only questions what’s meant to be in this life and who we’re meant to be with, but it also makes you think about where and what home really is. It’s so easy to think that only the big decisions you make affect the course of your life, when in reality all the decisions you make have an effect — and you can’t simply just wish the bad away, because from the bad eventually comes good.

“I think I have to believe that life will work out the way it needs to. If everything that happens in the world is just a result of chance and there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it, that’s just too chaotic for me to handle. I’d have to go around questioning every decision I’ve ever made, every decision I will ever make. If our fate is determined with every step we take . . . it’s too exhausting. I’d prefer to believe that things happen as they are meant to happen.”

This book had me feeling all the feels. Being only a year older than Hannah, I definitely felt for her. Although I have a steady job and I don’t jump from city to city looking for a place I belong, I too still don’t know where ‘home’ really is and I’m not sure whether the direction my life is heading, is the direction I want it to go. So much of Hannah’s character resonated with me and I constantly found myself rooting for her (and Gabby)! For the most part, I tend to have a slightly cynical view of the world and of life, but there’s a part of me that really also believes that whatever is meant to be will be—if it’s gonna happen it will happen—and Hannah’s belief in that really touched me. Surprisingly, I found very few characters in this book unlikable. Although many of them, even the main ones, don’t experience much growth throughout the story; as it centers on Hannah. They all managed to worm their way into my heart, except for the asshole characters of which there’s ONE BIG ONE. This obviously contributed to making the book a more enjoyable and easier reading experience.

While the story primarily focuses on the relationship between lovers, it also explores friendships and the relationship between parents and their children. I absolutely loved the friendship between Hannah and Gabby. Gabby is the steady, level-headed, politically correct friend to Hannah’s spontaneous all-over-the-place clumsiness. There was so much love and support between them, and even at Hannah’s worse, there was no condescension or judgement on Gabby’s part, which I think is rare to find (not only in real life but in story friendships too). Their type of bond transcends traditional friendship and makes them more like sisters and family; which considering Hannah’s home situation, is honestly not that difficult to do. The relationship between Hannah and her family made me profoundly sad. I honestly didn’t and still don’t understand her parent’s decision to not take her along with them. To say that they’re stuck in their own privileged bubble would be an understatement, even though they didn’t have bad intentions, it’s kind of incredible that they were so obtuse. While it’s clear that the Martin family have love for each other, it’s obvious that Hannah doesn’t feel like her parents and sister really have much of a place in her life, and that’s evidenced by the fact that they weren’t really around for the majority of the big life changing moments in either of the stories.

In a way I kind of feel like loving how both storylines ends is a little bit like cheating — it’s not, I know, but it’s like getting to have your cake and eat it too, because you don’t normally get two very different but both very happy endings in real life. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever read a novel that’s told in this way (except the ‘choose your own adventure’ types and that’s completely different), and I wasn’t expecting to love it but in the end I really did. I honestly love the concept of parallel universes and the playing out of actions on the “other side of the coin”. There’s a quote in this book that had my goosebumps rising and that so perfectly sums up the experience of the book.

“The world is splitting further and further into an infinite number of parallel universes where everything that could happen is happening. It’s entirely possible that every time we make a decision, there is a version of us out there somewhere who made a different choice. An infinite number of versions of ourselves are living out the consequences of every single possibility in our lives. What I’m getting at here is that I know there may be universes out there where I made different choices that led me somewhere else, led me to someone else. […] And my heart breaks for every single version of me that didn’t end up with you.”

Have you read Maybe in Another Life or is it on your TBR?

Book Review: Hunger by Roxane Gay

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Goodreads: Hunger
Genre: Non Fiction, Memoir, Feminism
Rating: ★★★★★

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At the start of every year, I always say to myself that this is going to be the year you read more Non-Fiction. I think I’ve been saying this for the past three years now and the most I manage to read is still about 1-2 NF books. It’s not that I don’t like NF, I just have a wildly wandering mind, and the writing needs to flow like fiction in order for it to keep my attention. I honestly have nothing against NF and I honestly wish that it wasn’t so difficult for me to focus, but my mind is definitely less keen on “facts and figures” and more on using my imagination. Hunger was my first NF for 2019 and I swear, if all NF could be this immersive, I would likely never stop reading it.

From the bestselling author of Bad Feminist: a searingly honest memoir of food, weight, self-image, and learning how to feed your hunger while taking care of yourself. In her phenomenally popular essays and long-running Tumblr blog, Roxane Gay has written with intimacy and sensitivity about food and body, using her own emotional and psychological struggles as a means of exploring our shared anxieties over pleasure, consumption, appearance, and health. As a woman who describes her own body as “wildly undisciplined,” Roxane understands the tension between desire and denial, between self-comfort and self-care. In Hunger, she explores her own past—including the devastating act of violence that acted as a turning point in her young life—and brings readers along on her journey to understand and ultimately save herself. With the bracing candor, vulnerability, and power that have made her one of the most admired writers of her generation, Roxane explores what it means to learn to take care of yourself: how to feed your hungers for delicious and satisfying food, a smaller and safer body, and a body that can love and be loved—in a time when the bigger you are, the smaller your world 

“This is a memoir of (my) body because, more often than not, stories of bodies like mine are ignored or dismissed or derided. They think they know the why of my body. They do not.”

Since I finished reading this, there hasn’t been a day that goes by when it doesn’t pop up in my mind–whether it’s an errant thought about it or something more poignant that Roxane Gay wrote that’s currently being reflected in my life. I don’t know how to put into words how much I loved this book. It felt as if Gay reached into my head and plucked out one thought after another, put all those thoughts on paper and turned it into this incredibly painful but beautifully bold memoir. I don’t know if any review that I write for this book will do it justice, but I will do my best to share my thoughts on it.

Trigger/Content Warning: Sexual Assault, Rape (described on page), Eating Disorders, Abuse (sexual, mental and physical)

In Hunger, Roxane Gay writes and shares a painfully raw memoir of her body. She recounts a sexual assault that happened when she was a child, and how she ultimately turned to food as a way to cope by building this barrier between herself and the world. This has resulted in the “wildly undisciplined” and “unruly” body that she lives in today. With brutal honesty, she shares her experiences with body image and her life as a “super morbidly obese” woman living in a world that values small bodies. She talks about how the bigger you are, the more your body becomes a “commodity” that everyone owns and can freely comment and give opinions on. She is unapologetic about her intimate and turbulent relationship with food and how it has become a comfort and a crutch.

“In yet another commercial, Oprah somberly says, “Inside every overweight woman is a woman she knows she can be.” This is a popular notion, the idea that the fat among us are carrying a thin woman inside. Each time I see this particular commercial, I think, I ate that thin woman and she was delicious but unsatisfying. And then I think about how fucked up it is to promote this idea that our truest selves are thin women hiding in our fat bodies like imposters, usurpers, illegitimates.”

Although I know my own situation is in many ways not comparable to Gay’s, her struggles with body image and hunger (not just for food), is something I relate to so very much. I think that her experience with body image and societal expectations is something that so many women and men can relate to. While I know I’m sure everyone’s experiences varies to different degrees, I think that many of us have felt the pressure and the difficulties of living up to it. What I appreciate the most about this memoir is how raw and honest Gay is about her experiences and thoughts. She really doesn’t censor anything, and while this sometimes makes what she has to say uncomfortable to read/hear, it’s also very much the truth. She doesn’t share anything with an ulterior motive, she’s not trying to squeeze any particular emotion from you and she’s not asking for your sympathy, she’s simply telling her story as it is. But she does make you think about things that you may take for granted every day — the things that you don’t think twice about, but for someone who lives in a bigger body doesn’t stop thinking about.

“To be clear, the fat acceptance movement is important, affirming, and profoundly necessary, but I also believe that part of fat acceptance is accepting that some of us struggle with body image and haven’t reached a place of peace and unconditional self-acceptance.”

If there’s anything to critique is that at a certain point the chapters got a little repetitive. I would read certain sections or chapters and realize that I had just read this, although it was worded slightly differently, in the previous chapter(s). I wondered if that was done intentionally, but I read that she essentially copy/pasted some of her Tumblr posts to formulate this book, so perhaps it was just overlooked in editing. There were also chapters in the latter half of the book that I felt were so full of anger and blame (towards society and others) and I didn’t agree with them, as they seemed a bit hypocritical. I saw them as the author releasing pent up rage and resentment, more than adding anything constructive to her narration. But again, this is her memoir and who am I to judge what she has to say about her life? That said, I didn’t find that these points detracted from my enjoyment of the book, and neither did it take any power away from her story.

I bought the paperback of Hunger while in transit at the airport, but started reading it as an Audiobook that I purchased on a whim (and I’m so glad that I did!). Following along with the audio, listening to Roxane Gay narrate her story, made me feel even more intimately connected with her, compared to if I had just read it. Listening to her speak is really like listening to a friend! Her writing is personable and moving, and she tells her story in such a straightforward, matter-of-fact way that makes it all the more powerful, in my opinion. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever made as many notes for quotes in any other book, as I did with this one. If you look at my copy, I’ve marked sticky notes on perhaps 85% of the pages; it’s honestly like a transcript of my mind!

This is a solid five star read that has undoubtedly worked its way onto my list of all-time-favorite books; I certainly won’t be forgetting it any time soon. Of course, I highly recommend this one (if it isn’t obvious yet)!

Have you read Hunger or another book by Roxane Gay? Do you plan to or is it just not for you? Let me know in the comments below and let’s chat books!

Book Review: Verity by Colleen Hoover

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Goodreads: Verity
Genre: Thriller/Mystery, Suspense, Romance
Rating: ★★★★ ½  (out of 5)

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Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity’s recollection of what really happened the day her daughter died. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents would devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue to love her.

It has been a hot minute since I read anything by Colleen Hoover–I think the last time I read a book by her was in 2016. There wasn’t any particular reason for it, I think I just overloaded on romance novels and decided to read more fantasy. That said, this book got caught on my radar in December 2018 and it was already getting some serious hype on bookstagram. I read the blurb and it definitely caught my interest, but I picked it up when I saw it randomly on Kindle Unlimited (UK). I was in a serious reading slump for all February, but this book took me right out of that!

“What you read will taste so bad at times, you’ll want to spit it out, but you’ll swallow these words and they will become part of you, part of your gut, and you will hurt because of them.”

To say that Verity is a little different from CoHo’s other novels would be a serious understatement. That would a little like comparing puppies and rainbows to axe wielding maniacs–only slightly different 😜 Although I guess you can classify this as a romance, it has a fairly dark plot that CoHo has filled with many twists and turns that leave you gaping at the end. At least, that’s what it did to me. Just when I thought there surely couldn’t be another plot twist, CoHo certainly proved me wrong with the final pages of the novel.

Right from the start, Verity has a very somber and a slow creeping sinister feeling to it. I was certainly put on edge and the discomfort only grew incrementally when Lowen moved into the Crawford’s home. My mind was often leaping to one conclusion after another as the the story progressed. I wasn’t very taken with any of the characters in this novel — I didn’t particularly like Lowen, I couldn’t quite place whether Jeremy was an innocent party or not, and I developed a fiery hatred for Verity almost from the moment her unfinished autobiography is introduced. While this usually deters me from reading a book, I found myself unable and unwilling to put it down until I knew what happened–it was really that good! It was actually quite refreshing to read parts of the story from the ‘villain’s’ perspective, even from as dark and twisted a mind as Verity’s was.

I honestly don’t think I can say anymore about this story without giving key plot points away. I will just say that it definitely had me gripping my bedsheets as I read in bed at night. There were definitely some parts that gave me serious goosebumps and made me want to squeal in fright– I’m thinking about one particular moment involving a patio scene during the day time! Overall, I thought this was a pretty screwed up suspense/thriller, obviously in the very best way! If you like being creeped out, I highly recommend it!

Have you read Verity yet or are you planning to? Did it successfully creep you out or was it just ‘meh’ for you?
Let me know in the comments and let’s chat books!

Book Review: The Child Finder by Rene Denfeld

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Goodreads: The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle #1)
Genre: Thriller, Mystery, Suspense
Rating: ★★★★☆

Three years ago, Madison Culver disappeared when her family was choosing a Christmas tree in Oregon’s Skookum National Forest. She would be eight years old now—if she has survived. Desperate to find their beloved daughter, certain someone took her, the Culvers turn to Naomi, a private investigator with an uncanny talent for locating the lost and missing. Known to the police and a select group of parents as The Child Finder, Naomi is their last hope. Naomi’s methodical search takes her deep into the icy, mysterious forest in the Pacific Northwest, and into her own fragmented past. She understands children like Madison because once upon a time, she was a lost girl too.  As Naomi relentlessly pursues and slowly uncovers the truth behind Madison’s disappearance, shards of a dark dream pierce the defenses that have protected her, reminding her of a terrible loss she feels but cannot remember. If she finds Madison, will Naomi ultimately unlock the secrets of her own life? 

“This is something I know: no matter how far you have run, no matter how long you have been lost, it is never too late to be found.”

It’s been a few days since I’ve finished this book and for some reason I’m still not really sure what to say about it; but I know I did really enjoy it. This wasn’t a fast paced thriller but more of a slow burn mystery that explores the dark depths of humanity and the effects of abuse on children/adults.

Despite the dark and heavy tones and topic of this novel, Rene Denfeld writes in such a beautifully descriptive way that it oftentimes felt like I was reading a fairytale. The author incorporates the surrounding nature and environment of the Pacific Northwest into her story very well, and I think it really added to the genuine feeling of loneliness, and desperation of the characters, town and situation. There was a certain magical quality to the writing that makes it feel like you’re reading through a dream. I thought this was fitting because the story covers the ways in which a person, specifically a child, can deal with traumatic events that happen. One of the coping mechanisms that’s cited is that they’ll often create a magical (fairytale) world that essentially protects them from the reality of their situation. This novel really dives into the psychology of abuse and delivers a powerful story that’s full of emotion. Through many parts of the book I felt such a profound sadness and teared up at various emotionally touching scenes.

“She said we are all part of a secret club. Someday, she said, we will take over the earth. It will be people like us that save the world, she said: those who have walked the side of sorrow and seen the dawn.”

Rene Denfeld also surprised me with the way she chose to narrate this story. I was expecting to only explore one character’s perspective, but Denfeld introduces a very unique perspective that made the story all the more emotionally gut-punching. I don’t want to give more away by going into it, but I definitely think it made it more hard-hitting and impactful. I really enjoyed Naomi’s character. She’s strong, but at the same time, she is delicate and often has a childlike naivety to her interactions with certain people. It’s a clear example of how trauma and abuse in childhood can impact a person well into adulthood.

“Everyone needs faith: faith that even though the world is full of evil, a suitor will come and kiss us awake; faith that the girl will escape the tower, the big bad wolf will die, and even those poisoned by malevolence can be reborn, as innocent as purity itself.”

That said, while I enjoyed the many perspectives, I also wondered if it was necessary for certain characters because I felt their narratives did not really add anything substantial to the story — if these narratives weren’t included, I honestly don’t think it wouldn’t have made a big impact in the plot. There were times that I also found parts of the writing too abstract and a little too existential for my tastes. This was especially so for sections of Naomi’s narration, when she’s reflecting on her present and past, and I didn’t feel that it added anything of significance to the story. It just left me feeling slightly confused — was I missing something important in not understanding how to read between these lines? I didn’t think so, in the end!

Overall though, I really enjoyed this one. There will be a second book in the Naomi Cottle series coming out in October 2019, and I can’t wait to read it! 😊 I am also excited to read the author’s first book The Enchanted, which I’ve heard is a beautifully written and enchanting (ha) story, although ti does have a lot more magical realism in it.

Have you read anything by Rene Denfeld? Do you plan to?
Let me know in the comments — let’s chat books!