TL;DR: I’m writing these thoughts down well after I finished reading this because my feelings were so heightened after this experience, I wanted to let my thoughts marinate a little bit. I want to start by saying that what everyone says about this book is 100% correct. It is beautifully written, heartbreaking and an intensely emotional journey that I found myself getting swept up and away in. Kennedy Ryan is out here destroying feelings left, right and centre, and she does a fantastic job of it! I read this book with Leslie, who didn’t like this as much as I did, and despite loving it myself, I can understand why it won’t be for everyone. Please do check content/trigger warnings because this covers a very traumatic experience and the ways our protagonists deal with what happened can be triggering for some.

This might honestly be one of the best, most emotionally raw, and realistic romances that I’ve ever read. People, love, and relationships are messy and we don’t always get a HEA, but Ryan manages to deliver one that feels realistic. It’s not perfect, it’s only the beginning of a longer healing journey, but it feels extremely fitting for the Wade family after everything they’ve been through. The longer I sit with this after finishing it, the more I’m certain that this book will stay rent free in my head long after I’ve put it down.

This such was a tumultuous journey from start to finish but it was surprisingly healing too. Yas and Si were far from perfect—both together and apart—but I loved the way they grew throughout this story as they not only found their way back to each other, but also found their way back to themselves after experiencing the darkest season of their lives. There were moments that pissed me off, moments that had me cackling, and so many moments where my heart fractured with the pain, grief, and loss this family experienced. I cried twice before we even got 10 chapters in and though I wasn’t bawling the whole time, the heavy moments continued through to the end. Thankfully, Ryan did balance this with some lighter, happier, and very sensual moments that added much needed levity and relief to the darkness they were working their way through.

Kennedy Ryan does an incredible job of capturing the messiness of love and relationships, while also exploring the depths of grief and loss. She made me feel every high and low Yas and Si experienced, but she also made them so realistic and their issues (both together and apart) so relatable. There was so much that this couple needed to work through and I’m glad that they were able to do so—even if it was slowly and sometimes very painfully. I love how therapy was centred and normalised in this story! Ryan tackles the stigma that still comes with asking for help, especially from a therapist, and I think this was done particularly well through the exploration of Josiah’s character specifically, due to the traumas he has buried and compartmentalised because society dictates that it’s “unnatural” for men to talk about their feelings. I was so proud of Si for doing what he was most scared and embarrassed of, but my heart soared reading about how much Yas overcame to get back to herself again. Seriously, just thinking about how powerful her emotional and mental healing arc was, is enough to bring tears to my eyes again, lol. It was just so good and so intense!🥹

Also, even with of all the issues that needed addressing, it was so clear that Yas and Si still had deep love feelings for each other. Plus, their sexual chemistry? Off-the-charts! We get several steamy scenes throughout but mostly towards the end, and there was a sensuality and vulnerability to the scenes that made it feel more emotionally impactful—and to be so for real, it was wickedly and delightfully hot! 🥵

Overall, this was so much more than a romance, and I’m so glad that I finally read it and that it lived up to the hype for me. I’m so excited to read the rest of the books now!

Have you read Before I Let Go or is it on your TBR?

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